I remember seeing a ridiculous commercial for a pregnancy test several years ago. It showed a woman jogging and [apparently] thinking out loud: “I’m so distracted lately . . . could I be pregnant???”
Really? I just can’t imagine THAT is the symptom that drives women to pick up an EPT at the drugstore. For me it was seeing the red letters in my ovulation app (yes. There IS an app for that.) say, “You’re five days late!”
I normally keep very close track of these things, so I was first surprised to realize I hadn’t noticed that myself. And after that first test (because I took two, of course. You can never be too sure about these things!), I was definitely surprised to learn that I was, indeed, pregnant!
Yep. I’m 10 weeks pregnant, due to make this family a party of four sometime in January.
Fertility – or lack of – isn’t normally the sort of thing I write about here; it’s felt too personal, too hard to put words to. Besides, talking about “trying” to get pregnant is just . . . weird to me. You’d rather not know about that, right? And to write about how it hurt to look at the fourth stocking in my Christmas decoration box, the one I bought just in case seemed unfair when I have one healthy miracle of a kiddo that I really am grateful for.
And never mind the breakdown I had when, just about a month before finding out we’re expecting, I gave away an enormous bin of baby clothes. I even said to Mark, “I don’t know why I’m crying, okay?! I just think it means we’re just not going to have a baby ever . . . although . . . I do know a lot of people who got pregnant right after giving away a bunch of baby stuff . . . YES, I’m still crying, okay?!”
For quite a while now, we’ve tried to balance our feelings between knowing this just might not happen and feeling like our family wasn’t quite complete yet. And now . . . well, now I’m managing to feel super excited and blessed at the same time I’m uber stressed about selling our house and terrified I’ll get as dangerously sick as I did last time.
In short? I’ve been a mess.
So if you’ve wondered why my blogging has been so sporadic, this is why.
If you’ve thought some of my writing has seemed lackluster, this is why.
If you’ve noticed I’m not accepting any new Words with Friends games, this is why.
If I promised you a guest post and then didn’t come through, this is why.
If you’ve seen me in person and noticed my FACE FULL OF ZITS, yeah, this is why.
I guess I have something in common with that jogging commercial lady after all. Not only have I been exhausted, nauseous, emotional and – did I mention? – exhausted, I have been crazy distracted. Crazy. Distracted.
After going to the store for the tenth day in a row and forgetting something important (like soap or toilet paper) AGAIN, I told Mark we just needed to face facts. I am worthless right now. So unreliable and forgetful and – yes, weirdo 80s commercial – distracted that virtually all I can handle, apparently, is making a baby.
Being the good husband and dad he is, Mark said that’s enough. (Except when we ran out of soap. That may have put him over the edge for a minute or two.)
Just in case you’re the kind of person who wants details, my due date is January 20. That means I’m 10 weeks pregnant today. Also, I’ll be 35 in December, so I’ve already heard more than I ever wanted about “advanced maternal age.” Thanks to a scare early on, I’ve already had two sonograms and heard the heartbeat. We’ll find out if it’s a boy or girl as soon as possible, especially since our house is divided on what we’re rooting for. (Mark’s really hoping to even out the teams here, while I’m hoping to re-use all our pink things and Annalyn has been begging for a baby sister for about three years.)
The Giveaway Part of the Post
A few sweet friends are here to help me celebrate this announcement today.
First of all, that great Big Sister shirt Annalyn is rocking was made by my old pal Hillary at Mint Julep Monograms. (Old in bloggy friendship years, not actual chronological age.) Second of all, I have two great giveaways just for YOU!
DaySpring is giving one lucky Giving Up on Perfect reader a beautiful silver Lisa Leonard necklace that is engraved, appropriately, with the words, “Wonderfully Made.”
And my [other] friend Hilary is giving one lucky local Giving Up on Perfect reader a gift certificate for a family photo session with Hilary Hope Photos. She’ll go anywhere in the metro (Liberty to Overland Park for a basic boundary), and the certificate will expire on December 20, 2013.
You guys, Hilary is an AMAZING photographer. So creative, so talented, and gifted with an incredible knack for showcasing her clients’ beauty (the inside kind AND the outside kind). You can see her work on her website, and you can also watch this adorable video that shows one of her engagement photo sessions.
To enter, simply leave a comment – any comment! If you live in the Kansas City metro area, note that in your comment so I can make sure you’re included in the photo session drawing, too.
The giveaway will close on Thursday, June 20.
